1344 Comments (page 3)

I think if I am going to be gut-level honest, my IS expresses itself because what I do (basically coaching people very very deeply) feels like a gift that doesn't come from "me", it comes through me. I am presenting to the world some very high ticket offers and I am terrified that once I get their money, I will disappoint them, that somehow the muse will not show up for me in that moment and they will be so angry that they wasted their time, money and expectations on me and I wasn't able to deliver. A few years back, I was doing some beautiful healing work on people with essential oils. I got mostly amazing feedback, but two powerful women in the community did not have a good experience in the sessions I gave them and they let me know. It totally shook me to my core and whatever innocent (in a good way) feelings I had about having a gift for helping people in that way was shattered. I pretty much stopped doing what I was doing because I had been exposed as a fraud. (I hadn't thought of myself as a fraud until that point). Now, with my true life's work, I am literally paralyzed with fear that if this gets "taken away" from me, I will have no where to go. I won't know who I am. I am 57 years old and both my husband and child are unable to work as they both are chronically ill so I am the sole breadwinner. EVERYTHING depends on me. I can feel my blood run cold when I think about the pressure and responsibility that carries. I have been told countless times how much I have helped various people, but in coaching, if someone is not ready, they are not coachable. I don't know how to get past that. Sorry for whining. I hate when I whine, but you gave us permission to. thanks so much for writing this article from the bottom of your heart. It is very loving and supportive.

Great post Kyle! I am a self-taught web developer. I am always constantly learning and much of it is on the job/project. I always wondered why I get so anxious when a client or boss gets disappointed when something doesn't work right or I make a mistake on something. I try to bullshit an explanation of the issue by blaming it on some glitch or other browser issue but it always feels like they see through my excuse. From there I begin to get anxious and catastrophise that I have no idea what I'm doing and I am going to not live up to my ego of being a star and be an expert that people put on a pedestal. Oohhhhhh the humanity! Thanks for letting me write my thoughts.

I've avoided doing, art-sculpting designing, painting, creating; because I think that because I didn't go to a design/art school I wouldn't be as good as all the other people that have gone. I also think that because it's been 6 years since I graduated college with a different major that I should just stick to what I know and not make a fool out of myself. There are plenty of other people that are much better then me already working in a design field and there is no hope for me.

In high school I self-sabatoged all of the sports I played. I use to be really good at softball and I never thought I was at the time. In cross country I never pushed myself hard enough until one winter I pushed myself so hard that it hurt to walk for months. There was something wrong with my knee and I felt like such a failure. I went to physical therapy and realized during that time that I wanted to become a physical therapist. Yeah it was a huge bummer that I couldn't move forward with running that season but I discovered what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Now I'm going to grad school in the fall and I don't think I'm smart enough or capable enough to become a therapist. I've worked really hard and have gotten straight A's but I still don't feel like I'm good enough. So silly, but it's so true. I'm taking time off to focus on myself and regain that self acceptance before the semester begins.

Kyle, I've just Heard about this syndrome yesterday, and all day long, I have reading about it, I´ve just realized that most of my professional life I have been feeling inadequate minimizing my personal achievements, It's a relive that that now I found the diagnose and the therapy to cure it. thank you, and I'm just starting the 21 steps, I'll be in touch. Jose.

Hi Kyle I have realised that I don't put in my 100% towards any project I take on, I think somewhere I feel that if I give it my best effort and fail it would confirm that I am not good enough. Half baked work gives me an excuses to hide behind, if I had more time or resources I could have done it better. I had a project review today and I really got screwed. Overheard my boss bitching about me to my team mates of how I am not upto the mark and am a burden to the team. I just don't know how to motivate myself to put in more

Brian, Thank you for writing this article. It is full of absolute gems to help me make sense of the "imposter syndrome" and diffuse it. Just the realization that so many people feel this and I am not alone lessens the impact of it. I appreciate your courage and humanness in sharing this. I look forward to more real insights from you! KR

Man, I hope you help me out with this one. I'm 18 and for so much of my life, I think I've had this. At school I rarely participated in sports, so I labeled myself as the smart guy and stayed a good student. I feel like I'm never competitive though, like I really want to rough house and play around and say the dirty things I think of jokingly. But I don't, I stay to myself often and don't share my opinions. Instead of being authentic I feel like a nothing. In reality I think maybe I'm a big ass or wimp so I just don't do anything. Like its wrong to be a guy, guys are crazy and mess with people sometimes but I just suppress everything to be the acceptable personality I need to different people.

I always have the unshakeable feeling that people will find out I am a phony artist. I even have trouble calling myself one because most of the things I draw is fan art from cartoons. It's silly because I'm doing all the work, for hours on end I focus on making my art as perfect as I can (which is also stressful because I never know when to stop). It has caused me to have extreme social anxiety because of the fact that 1) I think I don't know anything about popular culture or what people talk about 2) I fear talk about my interests because I feel like I'm not enough of an expert in the topic. It's like I know externally that I will never know everything about a topic, but I feel like if someone finds out something important I don't know about a topic I'm supposed to be an expert in, then that makes me a fraud.

I've done almost everything I could to avoid getting a part-time for my school. I'm in 5th year of a computer school and I feel I'm a fraud. Every time I look for a company or a job offer, I tell myself that I can't be good enough for it. What if I succeed in my job interview and they start seeing that i'm not very good in what I do. They will put money and hope for me, but I will eventually disappoint everyone. I see so much talent around me. People in my school who know exactly what they are talking about. I feel that I don't own my success, I'm in 5th year only because I chose the good teams. How can you know if it really is an impostor syndrome ? What if I'm really that bad and just pretending because I can't let my parents worry about me. Excuse my english, RetroRoux.

Now that I'm learning about imposter syndrome, it feels like I've needlessly avoided doing so many things. I feared that if I wasn't instantly good at doing something, I didn't live up to my potential. This imposter feeling put me off of doing almost anything creative. If someone reacted positively to my work, then they were just lying to make me feel better, and if someone reacted negatively, then they're right to criticize because they've seen through my bullshit.

I haven't gone out and tried the businesses, ideas and even the personal brand I want to, bc I've always thought people would see me as a fraud. Until I realized that pretty much everyone is full of shit. So what the hell...

I am a graphic designer and for the longest time I've been dealing with feeling like an imposter. I figured I might be dealing with imposter syndrome, but after reading this and trying some of these things, I think I might be a legitimate imposter (no, the oxymoron is not lost on me). Here's how I did on this list. Please pardon the cynicism. 1. Come off it: I guess the next 20 steps are about ways you can do this step, so just read on. At any rate, as you will see, I haven't come off it. 2. Accept that you have had some role in your successes: I've had no successes, but I do accept that I've had some role in the the successes I've never had. 3. Focus on providing value: This has always been my focus. I feel like an imposter because I don't think I've ever actually provided any. 4. Keep a file of people saying nice things about you: Here's my list: 1. I'm articulate, (much more in writing than in speech) 2.) I'm good about admitting when I've done a horrible job. Apparently people find this refreshing. 3.) I can really grow a beard. 5. Stop comparing yourself to that person: I can't, plain and simple. That other person is there, and they're winning my bids. What's more, when the few low-end projects I do manage to win fail to produce any positive results for the client, someone will remind me about that person, even if it's just in the fact that they hire that person the next time. 6. Expose yourself totally: I've actually done this 30min writing activity before at the recommendation of my therapist. Actually I found the results more scary and depressing than helpful. 7. Treat the thing as a business/experiment: I've always done this, but it's a failed experiment, and since I only have one product to offer (my design ability), my only options are to keep trying to sell the junk product, or quit. 8. Say “It’s Impostor Syndrome”: As you know, I've done that, but I can't believe it anymore. 9. Remember: being wrong doesn’t make you a fake: No, but I think never being right kinda does. 10. “Nobody Belongs Here More Than You”: If I were still in the early stages of my career, I could understand this, but I've been at this over 12 years and if I haven't seen some success by now, it might be time to admit I don't belong here. 11. Realize that when you hold back you’re robbing the world: No, when I con people into paying me for a product that won't give them any positive returns I'm robbing the world. 12. You’re going to die: Do I want to want to be on my deathbed regretting that I spent my entire life stopping myself because I felt like a fraud? No, but it's better than dying on a prison bunk because I actually WAS a fraud, or at best leaving my family with a mountain of debt by investing myself in career after career because I kept believing in myself despite my ineptitude. 13. Stream-of-conscious writing: Again, I've tried this before. Scary, not silly. 14. Say what you can: There's really not anything I can say. The longer I do this, the more I study and the harder I try, the less I know. Every step brings another failure and another piece of my understanding is scrapped, with nothing to replace it. My whole career at this point is mired in complete uncertainty. 15. Realize that nobody knows what they’re doing: I do realize this, and no, you're not an imposter for trying something that might not work, but you might be if nothing you try ever does work. 16. Taking action: Taking action proves that you are not a fraud, unless you are. Then it proves that you are. That's been my experience anyway. 17. Realize that you are never you: True, people are constantly changing. Somehow, though I never seem to improve. 18. Authenticity is a hoax: I don't consider myself an imposter because I represent myself as having a different personality than I actually do. That's just salesmanship. I feel like an imposter when I represent myself as being competent when I'm not. There's no fuzziness about that. I can pretend to like golf to impress a client, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if I can't honestly deliver a brochure that will generate interest from their target market, then I am a fraud by saying that I can. 19. See credentials for what they are: I already don't put a lot of stock in the credentials as a designer. There is one credential that's very important though: A strong portfolio. I must have reworked my portfolio over a thousand times—adding in, taking out, redesigning, etc.—but no matter what I do with it, it fails to impress. 20. Find one person you can say, “I feel like a fraud” to: I've tried sharing this with a few people a) My therapist who's paid by me to convince me that I'm not an imposter, b) My wife, who will predictably disagree with anything bad I may acknowledge about myself, but can never back it up, and c) My best friend, who also works in the field. He disagreed with me on the surface, but I kinda got the vibe that he didn't really. I also think he's been avoiding me since then, like he's worried this topic is going to come up again, because I haven't seen much of him since that day. It's been about two years now. 21. Faking things actually does work: True, and it's necessary to take up any kind of skill, but eventually, you have to either achieve some level of proficiency or give up on it. Did I mention I've been at this for 12 years? If your baby isn't walking after 12 years, there's something wrong and it's time to go wheelchair.

Thank you for this post! 3 days ago I was told I was being promoted to a role I have known I could do for the past year. I always had confidence I could do it, right until the moment I was given the opportunity, and since then I have been plagued with self doubt and feelings of 'I don't belong here..' It's nice to read that these feelings aren't abnormal, just knowing will help me to get over my self doubts and get on with the job!

Nevermind, I realized I wasn't who I thought I was. Thanks for the post, it helped me realize this and I feel a lot happier!

A year out of grad school with a masters in social work, I was promoted by the company I had done my internship with, above others, one in particular, that I felt was much more qualified. This other person had a license (one more initial in her creditential) and had been with the company for several years. (She has since been promoted also, into a leadership position.) I do therapy with teens and I meet with people struggling with addiction, write a report on their addiction history and make recommend for treatment that go to the department of children's services and the court. I come into contact every day with so much that I DON'T know. And yet I seem to get high praise from my colleagues and from other agencies that get my reports. I feel as though I know a tiny fraction of what they think I know. I am so new to the field. 99% of the time, I feel like I am presenting a facade of competence- even to my husband and daughter. Yes, I feel like a failure as a wife and mother as well. At times, the burden of this "secret" I carry around gets to be overwhelmingly heavy. The secret that I'm not as smart as everyone thinks I am.

My wife and her family always say that you are so smart but you are equally lazy and don't utilize your true potential. Been the story of my life though as I graduated college and work in the finance field and doing well, however, each day I feel I don't know the core of my work : like I know how to do things but not the why behind it and that's why I feel phony. I've achieved what I've achieved but hardly give myself credit for it. I'm in my early 30's and have a house and hardly any debt ( except mortgage that is) but I don't feel I worked hard enough for it at all which takes out the excitement from doing things. Not sure if you can relate but until today I didn't even know I had a name for this behavior and I've been feeling this way for last 10 plus yrs. Need to do more research or take some therapy. Thanks for the post btw

Okay, so I read over my post from a few days ago, and realized that despite it's length I never really got to to the point, and the point was this: a) Is it possible to be not just suffering from impostor syndrome, but to be an actual impostor, b) is it possible that this could describe me and c) what should I do about it?

As a User Experience Designer, I have to somehow capture well enough the nuances of human experience to create the basis for great designs. Right now I am attempting to do so again for the latest project. Serious procrastination sets in, each time I sit down to create the "masterpiece" of insights based on the interviews, observations, and current knowledge of the domain. It is a simple reality, in UX that I rely on people being open and honest in sharing, and that I can never be the expert they are in their own experiences. Yet I am supposed to summarize and illustrate both pleasure and pain points with their daily challenges and in the end offer solutions that will be effective, efficient, and enjoyable to use! Imposter syndrome hits hard, as all the answers should come from people's real life experiences, and understanding of their strengths and weaknesses, and I should somehow capture and communicate that. Accepting that I can never do this perfectly, and sometimes may even be completely wrong or ineffective, is a hard pill to swallow. The reality is noone could. Thus I won't ever either. The humility to openly make mistakes early and often is hard for the ego to accept. This is however, is the best way to get the right insights and get to a solid (though never perfect) basis for design.

I cannot make relationships work because I am afraid to speak my mind because I believe I will be found out for what I really am.... a fraud, I only want people to be happy and think of me in a positive light. this keeps me from having to deal with the fact the I have no self confidence in what I do or the relationships I hold. I am distant to the people I really care about, I do not speak my mind because I'm afraid they will leave me, or be disappointed in me this is not something I can deal with, from anyone even aquatences. I don't know what makes me happy because making other people happy and not disappointed in me is what keeps me going.

I've lived most of my life frozen because of the Imposter Syndrome. I only became aware of it a year ago when I read the first quarter of a book on the subject, after which I slammed the book shut and promptly started my own business, made a chunk of money, worked myself to the ground, made a ton of mistakes and landed right back where I started. I think maybe it's time to knock out the Imposter Syndrome once again. In Round 1 I only had a life of lying low and doing next to nothing to use to discredit my ability (if you doubt your ability the very last thing you want to do is anything that might test the limits of your ability). Now I have a year of professional mistakes to use to discredit my ability....combined with all the prior years of doing nothing. Le sigh. It would be nice to be on the phone with a potential new client and NOT start listing off all the reasons why I'm not that qualified instead of listing my accomplishments and qualifications like they asked.

My boyfriend found this for me after we talked about Imposter Syndrome. We both have it. He's learned to temper it, I just discovered my feelings have a name. The timing on this is perfect. I've been feeling like a complete fraud as a speaker on panels about writing. Yes, I'm a writer, but I'm not yet published. Who am I to speak about writing when I don't have a book to hold up and prove to everyone that the world thinks I can write? This weekend I'm going to walk into those conference rooms and speak on those panels and not feel like a fraud. I may not be published, but because of that, I have a different perspective on writing that the more seasoned authors have probably forgotten.

Thanks for this post. I feel this and it's debilitating. Today at least, you've helped me break out and get back to work. Anonymous

I feel like an imposter in a new leadership role. I "support" 13 different healthcare departments and "direct" a hospital medicine department. Most of my work is all comfortably within my non-patient care related skill set. The portion that isn't is quite bothersome. I am frequently asked questions on which I have no idea of the answer, by people substantially older and seemingly more experienced in healthcare than I am.

I've been one of the most self-aware egotistical frauds I've ever known. Or am I? I figured 6-7 years back that I'd quite a few things wrong with me and I needed to work on myself so I began reading books and blog posts and meditating and fixing myself. The question I ask after reading your amazing blog piece and enlightening my consciousness to Impostor Syndrome: - Was I really that bad? No - Will I ever be perfect? No - Should I worry about pleasing everyone all the time? No Life is a journey, a lesson, a growth hacker. Some facts: - Nobody on this planet of 8+billion people swans around happy all day every day. - Nobody on this planet knows everything. In fact of the 8+billion no individual probably knows more that 0.00000000000000001% of the world's combined knowledge Nobody on this planet is 100% sure what they are doing or what their life purpose is. Nobody on this planet is perfect or imperfect. We're human and amazing! Nobody on this planet is stupid or inadequate or useless. My quote: "I'm my own worst critique. Nobody gives me anywhere close to 1% of the negative thoughts or perceptions I give to myself. Imagine I had this knowledge and could turn it around. Imagine I had the power to think of myself positively even 50% of the time. Imagine how amazing my life would be. WOW!" Thanks Kyle.

Thank you, Kyle! This was very helpful! I just lost my job and also another possible job because I felt like a fraud and wasn't able to fake it. I lacked self-confidence and my employer saw that. It hurt me, it got me down, but I never thought about this being a syndrome of some sort. I thought it was just me... with this big flaw that would get down in life wherever I went. I'm working through this... and this story helped me very much!! Thanks again!

Awesome Cris! I think I've mentioned this in the comments, but it's crazy to me how helpful it can be to have a LABEL for something. It makes it more approachable/manageable.

Great article! I haven't gone back to complete my Master's Degree because I think that I am too old, and I am worried that I will fail. I worry too much about failure and that people will think of me as a failure.

-It's been some months ago I've discovered Impostor Syndrome in me. I'm a grad student in architecture in Albania and I teach English for kids in here. I love working for them, but I have never intended to teach them because I thought I'm not good enough to participate in such engagement. This happened 'till my family and friends pushed me to act and move further on my decision. It's been now half and a year doing this staff and I still receive lovely cards with amazing confidences for me. They are so lovely folks. -I struggle at university but in the same time I'm called as an intelligent student by my peers and teachers. -I would also admit that I suffer from introversion. -My mind literally blows most of the time, even in these moments while I'm typing. My thoughts aren't organized and usually I prefer to keep quiet than talking any bullsh*t. -And like most of you, I fake it 'till make it. Kyle, as soon as I manage my thoughts better I'd try to explode anything else in here. Thanks for being such confidential.

Thank you for this. My friend told me to google "imposter syndrome" after I had a meltdown this morning. I just passed the bar exam and got licensed this year and I am trying to start my own law practice. I battle this feeling every time I walk into a courtroom or sit down with a client. I feel like I should be saying, "here, let me take some notes and I will pass this on to the REAL attorney". Part of me fully expects to be kicked out of the courtroom for the "unauthorized practice of law". I feel inadequate and lost 90% of the day which does not make me very effective on the days when I chose to give into it. Your advice and information helped me realize mostly that I am not alone, and I am going to read it many times over. Thank you.

I am about to graduate from my undergrad program here in Costa Rica, I am in the academic field, biotechnology, and feel that everyone else already has their things together, that they know more than I do on subject matter, that even my independnt study is something completely useless for the world. Now I am starting to go through this process of decisions and what not, so nervous on what the next chapter is to come, I look at all these options and think why I should I be chosen for this internship or grad program, doing excersice helps keep me at bay, nevertheless all these thoughts keep popping into my head. I dont really know how to stop banging up on myself for every little thing that I do.

Jen that's huge! Congrats on doing all of this--especially in the face of feeling like you shouldn't

Thanks for this. After 11+ years in a job, it ended and I am in a new job (although similar industry, but marketing focus) in a totally new part of the country. I have never felt more insecure about what I'm doing or a greater pressure for failure. I am working to make some of these suggestions daily activities. Thank you for the openness of this post!

In a word, "WOW". This is just the second article I've read on the Imposter Sydrome after having just discovered it. I can't tell you how enlightening and encouraging it's been. Even though people tell me how brilliant I am and come to me often for answers, I've always felt like I was faking it. In my current position at work I feel like I'm faking it. I've thought about doing seminars/webinars on different topics, but then I think of all the people who "I think" know more than me and each time I feel like a fraud...enough to let the idea pass right on. So much of what you wrote resonated with me. THANK YOU.

I am a TV producer and I am constantly terrified I will be 'found out'. Despite me putting out a weekly show that has had constant good feedback for the last 8 months, I always get to the weekend and think "How the hell did that show get on TV? That was lucky!" even though I know logically that it wasn't luck, it was me working 60 hours a week to make it happen. I feel lucky that I made it through another week without anything going disastrously wrong and without my bosses realising that I don't quite know what I'm doing. I am currently organising a foreign shoot and, in a meeting with my team earlier, I really sounded like I knew what I was talking about. And I kind of do, because I've done this job for years, but I am a nervous wreck so much of the time, anticipating all the times my bosses will call me out and say that I am a bad producer. Most recently I spend thousands of $$$ on new graphics for our show but they're not as good as I hoped and tomorrow I need to reveal them to my bosses. I am terrified that they will hate them and I will get in a bunch of trouble. I am writing this as an exercise in the hope I can rationalise everything but it doesn't stop the internal fear.

Judging by the length of these comments I would say this resonates with a lot of people! I have this tendency myself and now I can see it cropping up in my accomplished daughter. I started out in life as a writer, gave it up for a day job and now I'm gradually plugging away and writing books in the evenings. All the great books already out there make me feel like a fraud, but this article has given me some ways to shut that down and keep going. I'm going to write my characters as authentically as I can, including the one who shares this condition with me.

challenge accepted I left my band which had gained relative success in the past few years after winning a record contract. The pseudo fame that ensued had changed my friends and gAve them giant egos and they treated me like crap despite me writing the songs and driving them everywhere. So I left. And now I'm trying to make an album by myself but it's harder than I expected and I'm getting more and more afraid that I have no talent. I'm still trying, and I'm not going to give up or anything but being scared is making the process really difficult emotionally. I think I compare myself to others too much. Thanks for the article though, I'll try harder to get over my fears.

This hits home so much! I am very accomplished; let's just say I'm one of those teenagers you see in the "30 Teenagers of the Year" of famous organizations, and have interned at a very famous tech company and am in my second year of college pursuing two STEM majors, before I can vote. I just broke this articles' main point (you're not special), right there, but really that's the other side of having all these accolades; even if you feel like your reality is not very glamorous, it is hard when other people feel like they do too. I feel like the people who are close to me are all very impressed by these feats, but they are much more accomplished/smarter than I am. I feel like I have to always live up to their expectations, but there's always a fear that I won't and they'll find out the type of imposter I am. But then a part of me actually believes that this imposter syndrome helps me accomplish more. Because I feel like a fraud, I have to do more and work more, which makes me more successful/skilled. Yes, my syndrome is that bad. What has my syndrome prevented me from doing? Applying to a few tech companies so far that are the hardest to interview for. I fear they'll just laugh in my face and say, "You fooled everyone." And you know what? I'm going to apply to those tech companies. Thank you so much for the article...There is such a well of emotions bubbling in me right now. Everyone in these comments are very accomplished, and it is good to know that there are others who feel the same way. Let's support each other to overcome this syndrome, because let's face it, we're awesome.

I am trying to learn to be a consistent free-lance writer, and I struggle to maintain the excitement from when I have an idea for a great piece to when the time comes to follow through. I often think, "Who am I to think that what I have to say on this is worthwhile? What if my ignorance is painfully obvious to a reader and I'm lambasted for pretending like I know something when I don't?" So I think maybe I'll make it clear that I'm not an expert, however then I'm afraid people who'll be uninterested in reading me. I often feel like the fire in my belly to self-express is snubbed out by what a fake I am. What really terrifies me is that I could speak and be wrong- and maybe cause more confusion or just be known as the person who is/was wrong about this thing once. And then I feel embarrassed for feeling so self-important, and by now the fire is more than out. The coals have turned to ash, and I'm thinking the fire was a silly mistake to begin with. That is until it's rekindled, and I learn how to use it to help people and myself instead of letting my past experiences, my burn scars, keep me from experimentation. I'm tired of watching all these fires die, and for nothing other than to keep myself from ever feeling any pain. For someone as insecure and fearful as me, a little pain might do me some good, because the fear of it is so much more paralyzing and damaging.

I never try my hardest in school even though that's what I'm all about. I'm afraid if I try my hardest I will reveal the truth that I'm really just some stupid guy trying to be intelligent.

I tend to be authentic so I disagree that there is no such thing as authentic. I try to be totally seen, to the extent that the environment accepts it. I am lucky that I have a group of people in my life with whom I can be totally authentic. I don't mean I share every angry or negative or sexual thought with them. But as much as is loving, I do. Most of all I am authentic with myself to the extent that I have grown able to know my own truth. This is a quest I pursue daily with spontaneous journalizing, therapy and daily spontaneous primal poems that I send to the email list of the members of the International Primal Association. Julie Eliason

Thank you so much for writing this article. This is my first real discovery that this feeling I continually have is not just me doing something wrong, but is something I'm able to work against. For as long as I can remember I have had this feeling that I live in this place where no one really knows me. That I have all these dirty secrets and any moment someone will find out and that it will implode on me. I just wanted to say how grateful I am, and that reading this article has at least helped me see a conceivable way forward from this (what I would call) struggle. Thank you so much. Jeffrey

Wow, reading this article I went through a few waves of emotion. The mention of being stuck / a rusty wheel is especially true for me. I am so terrified to fail that I've shut down. I'm dragging myself out but it's a lot of work and at times I feel like I won't succeed. One thought that came to me is that there are millions of authors. I have a few favorites that I think are brilliant. Sometimes I'll read something someone else recommended and I'll think what the ?!?! It's not that my books are better, it's that they're better for ME. For that author every person he reaches is a success even though he'll probably never know it. That other author isn't a fraud, he/she is just not the author that resonates with me. Everyone doesn't have to think you're special and everyone doesn't have to think what you do is good. It's ok to do it for doing it's sake. (ps at the moment I'm beating myself up because I'm not sure if "it's" should be possessive here, can doing it benefit from doing it? Can I post this without being sure? This is how far down the rabbit hole I go)

Hello Kyle. I was worried about constantly feeling anxious lately following several big promotions during company mergers and acquisitions. I am now managing people who all have specialized degrees. I have none. Nobody has asked because everyone assumes I have a degree. I am fearful that someone is going to expose me or confront me about it. The difference between them and me is that their knowledge is old and mine is fresh since I am still in school, taking online classes, one or two per semester while maintaining perfect GPA. I will graduate in time to retire but I will finally feel like I have proven myself. Until then, I will keep feeling like an imposter. I am anxious every day. I feel like I don't deserve this position and the employees I have to manage will not respect me... I feel so anxious that at times it resembles a panic attack. I was googling "feeling anxious" which led me to "feeling like a fraud" which led to your article. I have never posted anything personal before for fear of exposure. Your article helped me more than a therapist could in that now I understand I'm not alone feeling this way. I am not an imposter because I have earned my place and I allowed myself to take opportunities that brought me to where I am. I carved my way up here. I am not a fraud. I simply live up to my expectations which are high. Thank you Kyle, you write very well. And yes, you can add this comment to your success pile. This article made a huge difference for me, in how I feel. I also believe inertia breeds self doubt. That's why it's important to keep moving forward. I will make sure to read your article again when my insecurities return. Gratefully, Linda

I managed my high school robotics team for several years despite starting on the team with zero experience, often not knowing what the heck was going on while kids who had been building for most of their lives went on building without any problems. I eventually figured enough out to contribute a lot to the team and captained a team to world championships, then raised the program from 20 or so active members to over a hundred students and mentors with expended facilities and resources open to teach anyone of any experience level. But I always felt like such a fraud, because as much as I loved the team and loved improving it and loved contributing to building as much as I could, I still didn't know how to use this tool or how to wire that motor. I graduated feeling partially proud of what I had made and mostly like a loser for still not being the "expert" a lot of my peers thought (or probably didn't think) I was. Same with cello, and with being a science major, I didn't start playing as early as many of my peers so I didn't have the same foundational skills, I didn't start loving science until late in high school and now I'm a science major who is doing well in class by working hard but doesn't get a few basic bio jokes and has to fake laugh when everyone else gets them, and didn't ever take a chemistry class until college. I've played very challenging pieces in a high school string quartet and earned a Superior rating from festival judges and performed in more cello concerts than I can remember. But I just auditioned today to be apart of what I thought were informal string quartets, but apparently are composed of all music majors. They said it wasn't an audition and not to prepare, but then I showed up and they wanted me to play something from memory (I DONT KNOW ANY SOLOS BY MEMORY, THIS IS A HOBBY TO ME) and for me to play scales (I KNOW LIKE 2 SCALES BY HEART, OF COURSE I PANICKED THROUGH BOTH OF THEM). Obviously I didn't get out into any quartets. It was a humiliating experience overall. I already feel like a loser when I say I'm a cellist (cause what "real" cellist doesn't know Bach by heart) or that I love robotics. Because people assume I'm so musical and tech savvy, and I feel like a failure. But I am trying to learn more about the things I love all the time and have already accomplished some amazing things. I have to keep telling myself that I love playing music and I can do some cool stuff with technology, so yes I am a cellist and a robot enthusiast just as much as the next person. I'll just find some other enthusiasts to work with and we'll all learn more together. And screw people who are "talent gate keepers" or belittle the passions of others.

Thanks Kyle, I'm bookmarking this page because it's probably the most helpful and necessary thing I've ever read. I've been having some deep anxiety recently that feels exactly like imposter syndrome. I have a scholarship right now that is contingent on my performance as a leader and high achiever at my school, and was awarded based on accomplishments I've always felt like a fraud about, despite knowing otherwise deep down. I managed my high school robotics team for several years despite starting on the team with zero experience, often not knowing what the heck was going on while kids who had been building for most of their lives went on building without any problems. I eventually figured enough out to contribute a lot to the team and captained a team to world championships, then raised the program from 20 or so active members to over a hundred students and mentors with expended facilities and resources open to teach anyone of any experience level. But I always felt like such a fraud, because as much as I loved the team and loved improving it and loved contributing to building as much as I could, I still didn't know how to use this tool or how to wire that motor. I graduated feeling partially proud of what I had made and mostly like a loser for still not being the "expert" a lot of my peers thought (or probably didn't think) I was. Same with cello, and with being a science major, I didn't start playing as early as many of my peers so I didn't have the same foundational skills, I didn't start loving science until late in high school and now I'm a science major who is doing well in class by working hard but doesn't get a few basic bio jokes and has to fake laugh when everyone else gets them, and didn't ever take a chemistry class until college. I've played very challenging pieces in a high school string quartet and earned a Superior rating from festival judges and performed in more cello concerts than I can remember. But I just auditioned today to be apart of what I thought were informal string quartets, but apparently are composed of all music majors. They said it wasn't an audition and not to prepare, but then I showed up and they wanted me to play something from memory (I DONT KNOW ANY SOLOS BY MEMORY, THIS IS A HOBBY TO ME) and for me to play scales (I KNOW LIKE 2 SCALES BY HEART, OF COURSE I PANICKED THROUGH BOTH OF THEM). Obviously I didn't get out into any quartets. It was a humiliating experience overall. I already feel like a loser when I say I'm a cellist (cause what "real" cellist doesn't know Bach by heart) or that I love robotics. Because people assume I'm so musical and tech savvy, and I feel like a failure. But I am trying to learn more about the things I love all the time and have already accomplished some amazing things. I have to keep telling myself that I love playing music and I can do some cool stuff with technology, so yes I am a cellist and a robot enthusiast just as much as the next person. I'll just find some other enthusiasts to work with and we'll all learn more together. And screw people who are "talent gate keepers" or belittle the passions of others. I'll be taking Kyle's advice from now on.

I'm a student studying Engineering and Physics. For most of my life I wanted to be a science genius and a professor. Right now I'm doing an internship which is with a research group that works on a field which I had been extremely interested in when I started university. However, I can't shake off the feeling that I'm completely out of my element. I'm at a conference and I'm not paying attention to the current presentation. I'm telling myself it's because it's too advanced for me to understand. But I internally debate all the time if it's because of a far scarier reason: because I was never a good physicist to begin with, and I ought to be doing something else which stokes my curiosity more. Examples come into mind like psychology, game design, or environmental engineering. So I'm struggling to decide whether this is a case of Imposter Syndrome or a case of being in the wrong field. I think my plan of action is to talk with friends and my supervisors to ask frankly about my performances in their eyes. This will hopefully give me a more realistic objective idea of whether or not I belong here. I want to feel the confidence that I used to feel as I did before. How can one tell if these feelings are the result of an imposter syndrome, or the result of not choosing what you're naturally gifted or interested in?

Hi Kyle, I don't really even know where to start... Ever since I was very young, I thought anything I achieved was through luck or someone else looking out for me. I only came across Impostor Syndrome a couple of weeks ago and phewee, what a relief! I've recently been made redundant and my CV is doing well for me, the problem that I've faced is at interviews where I feel the interviewer isn't going to believe that little old me could possibly have achieved what I have. Even just reading your list has helped me sort out (to an extent) what's going on in my head. I'm going to write down my achievements and my fears and then separate the two lists in my head. I have... They won't... Thanks so much, this is a HUGE leap forwards for me. Alison x

I came across this "Impostor Syndrome" this morning while researching some UX conferences to attend. I am a web designer who, for the most part, feels inadequate, and nearly not as good as other designers. This has caused so much frustration and anxiety in my life. But, it doesn't start and end with what I do for a living. I feel like my entire life is in a perpetual state of Impostor Syndrome, no matter what the context is. I've been in and out of therapy for over 20 years due to depression, anxiety, and some social issues. Reading through this article was a huge "wow" moment for me, as I can relate to almost every detail. My therapy over the years has been a huge help for me, and I have been able to identify all of the traits of Impostor Syndrome without ever having know the term Impostor Syndrome. This was very enlightening.

I want to pursue a film and music career, but sometimes I feel like I don't have what it takes. I've written a couple of songs and scripts, but too afraid to show them because of what others might say. I just don't want them to think I'm doing this for attention or because "I'm just lost right now ". This is my passion and I can only see me doing this as a career, not a hobby.

I think you hit the nail on the head by going and talking to others. External opinions/measurements are really helpful.

I quickly forget what people are telling me because I am constantly trying to find a similar personal situation I can share so I can connect with them. If I dont, I feel like I have bombed the conversation and that person wont want to talk to me again. When I do this, I dont remember people's names or specifications about something.

Thank you so much for this article - I didn't realize I was suffering from this until I read this, but everything applies to me. I'm definitely going to save this and read it whenever I start trying to beat myself up (and am gonna do the writing out your insecurities thing). I've been afraid to start a podcast about being blind and the struggles I have with music and audio production because I feel like there are so many resources out there about the topic that I would not be experienced enough or interesting enough to do it. I also struggled for a really long time with starting a blog, starting to write radio dramas and produce them, and posting songs on YouTube or soundcloud because I didn't think anyone would care or want to hear or listen to any of my "crap" - I constantly think that whenever I sing, and show it to someone, that it's going to be ripped apart and everyone will think it's terrible and that me pouring everything into a singing and music career will be worthless because I am not as good as everyone says I am. I just constantly deal with anything creative I do, or have done being seen as utter filth in my eyes and even when I do something I am proud of a little seed in my head says "You shouldn't be proud of this, it really isn't that good because the mix is off or because you sang that note wrong". I wasn't expecting that to be this long, sorry lol. Those are what I struggle with day to day, though and it felt good to write out.

Kyle, first I want to say I am so thankful I found your article. I literally heard about imposter syndrome 5 seconds before finding your article, for the first time. I struggle with this and it keeps me from putting together my music business and completely committing to it. I will stay up all night putting off the task of doing music work, because I simply don't feel I am for real, like I am lying to everyone, lying to my wife. The only problem is, I do love doing this, and know im better than most people at it, but somehow still feel unworthy. I am in a music bussiness program at school, and feel intimidated by the young excited, blooming students. I was a veteran, started as a seal, and EOD candidate, but got dropped from those programs, possibly because of this issue. I did get to work for the president for a year, went to Afghanistan and ran multiple marathons and climbed mountains, to prove to myself I am worthy. I still don't feel it though, and I know I shouldn't be intimidated by people anymore, and hide it extremely well. But I know something eventually has to flip in my brain if I ever hope to achieve the things I know in capable of.Your article has opened my eyes and given me some possible solutions. Any other advice you may be able to give someone in my specific situation?

I want to succeed but I constantly think I'm going to fail. And after reading this, I get why. Not fear of failure. That's for sure.

Hi, Thank you for this article :) I have had impostor syndrome for the longest time before realizing I had it. About 30 years! It's been a crippling and degenerative condition for me and this article is now helping me see "the light." Thank you again. My dilemma: I started with a start-up about 2 years ago. I was promised "A percentage of profits" to be discussed later once we start operations. Also, I needed to reduce my current income by about 70% for the sake of the start-up company. I said fine and took the job. I was going to ask for 5% of net profits once operations started. It's a big company with many sub companies under it's wing. The new sub company is what I would be working on. So in two years, working alone (with help from the company) I built the capital expenditures required for the business, as well as the business plan, materials resourcing, policies and quality manuals, etc. I basically laid the foundation these past 2 years. So now we are ready to start operations. So I needed help in operations. So I hired two other people, more experienced than me, but both already over 65 years. I always hire people who have more experience than me as I believe it to be a good practice. So out of the blue, the boss says he will give the 3 of us 5%. So that is 1.66% each. I was shocked. I expected my deal to be seperate and I was going to ask for 5%, now I'm in a "corporation" with the other 2 people I hired to split it with me. My Impostor Syndrome tells me to just let it go. But my wife and family says the deal is not fair to me. Now seeing more clearly, I agree with my wife and family. How can I go through this terrifying ordeal with my boss now? I promised my wife I would talk to him. Best regards, Mag

I have (officially, at least) suffered from depression and anxiety for over 10 years. I am 24. Throughout college I thought I was making true progress (with the occasional hiccup of course). Now, in the workforce... I have advanced quickly, but am afraid of having more responsibility because I fear being found out as not deserving it or not knowing what I'm talking about, while at the same time craving more advancement and additional responsibilities. I've been given so many opportunities, but I see my parents who lost so much so quickly, in the blink of an eye, despite having been so successful... I have a hard time appreciating and acknowledging the success I've had so far because I'm so afraid that it will soon dissipate into dust. The only thing, up until now, that had kept me going has been my boyfriend who just recently found the most amazing job after having been laid off. Just goes to show we never know what's just around the corner and how we need to just work hard and have confidence in ourselves.

I feel like a fraud because 4 years ago my mom moved to a new place and it's a small little town with a very locals only attitude, and I was homeschooled so that didn't help, so I never made any friends my age there. I did go to beauty school there and met a couple of friends. And I have friends from back home but we've grown apart. I just feel like nobody wants to hang out with you there unless you are a local, so I always feel like as soon as someone finds out I wasn't born there they won't want to hang out with me anymore. And I'm a person who craves companionship and belonging more than anything. And from not having any friends and being bored all the time made me have insecurities about myself and now I don't even want to make new friends because I feel like they won't like me and I don't want to take that risk of getting my feelings hurt. But I know I have to open up if I want to make friends. Now I don't even know where to begin because everyone already has their cliques and groups and I live in the country it's not like there's anywhere you can go to meet people they hang out at their houses and they all went to high school together so they all know each other already. I don't know what to do.

Three times a week I facilitate a meeting with my colleagues and parents where I feel at any moment someone will challenge my competency and expose me for being a fraud despite the years of experience and advanced degrees I hold.

Sure, I'll play. Here's what I don't do because I'm afraid: I don't start most of the businesses that have popped into my head. I'm afraid that they're too impractical, that even if I got them started I wouldn't have the capability to really see them through. I'm scared that I would start them and they wouldn't reach product-market fit or they wouldn't be cost-effective or that I couldn't produce the code or wrangle the people or the money necessary to really scale them. And yet, I'm the CTO of a startup about to raise a million bucks in VC. We've grown from 2 guys and a desk to 6 FT, 5 PT, major advisors, and few hundred k invested already. But I still feel like we're hacks most days, just making things up as we go along.

I'm a grad student in the tech sector. The authenticity one hits hard, as does the one on failures. I have a hard time talking to others and filter myself because I don't want to say the wrong thing, alienate them and blow my chances but I end up doing it anyways with my silence. I pass up great networking opportunities, interviews and even making new friends constantly. I'm constantly trying to be the perfect candidate in hopes of getting that dream job, but past failures tell me all my attempts are futile. I live in Beau Taplin's poem, Just Short. I am deathly afraid of almosts, and of coming close to what I want just to fall short. It's become the self fulfilling prophecy. I would love to show you how passionate about tech I really am, but I have been hurt for so long by so many, I am afraid to expose myself one more time. No one knows my real self, because I keep her locked up and safe from harm. I'll be paralyzed with fear about tripping up that I'll not realize the truck hit me and kept going, the opportunity was missed, came and went. I'll panic about the event until exhausted but never prepare. Just exhaust myself in the panic of the fear of destroying yet another opportunity. Then remind myself I'm not worthy, and it was a fluke. I'll say what I want to say only in my head, or much later after the missed opportunity. I'm surrounded by literally the most brilliant minds in the world, how can I even compare? Why do people keep telling me I am smart when I keep struggling with basic things? Why would MIT talk to me a second time? I can't be loud. I can't be impolite and inconsiderate. I can't be arrogant and puff my chest out. If I don't like those kinds of people, why should I emulate their behavior even in an interview? Why can't people see the passionate techie inside this seemingly hollow shell? Why can't anything feel like an accomplishment? I will stop myself from talking to people I perceive smarter than me just to not have to be caught red handed. I'm a fraud, and I hide from my 2.6 GPA with more degrees I skate by on with higher GPA because they have a lower standard. Any other high caliber school and I would be kicked out. I try so hard, but I feel I will always lose. I put a lot of significance on intellect and my happiness on becoming a researcher. My impostor syndrome is perpetually making me miserable and holding up progressing in my life. Some people get things handed to them, but I have to work twice as hard if not more for the scraps and I am lucky just to get those.

I was thinking about how to put off my insecurities and fears and being the real me that i came across this article and believe me it felt like this article actually has been written to me...i can relate to every point of your article!Every Single Point!!! Whenever i think of talking politely or of not being angry..i think that's not me i can't be something that i am!I have to be me and i will be betraying myself if i be that! i do look average but have a few good photos and i have uploaded them on facebook and instagram....people tell me that i look really beautiful and again i feel like an impostor because i feel that its only my photos not me! when i perform really well and people praise me in my college i feel no!i am not good!it's just that the people here are not that excellent otherwise they would have known how dumb i am and how stupid the performance was.... i put off my work because i don't want to be seen as a person who is organized and punctual because i know that i am not and when someone tell me that i am i go miles to prove them wrong!!! i do not really know if i will be writing in my diary but telling you all this makes me really free. i am 19 yrs old but i look 16..i fear meeting unknown friends of my parents because they comment on how i look so young!!! u know the acceptance part i have not been able to accept myself beacuse i feel that there exists a a version of myself which is the best...i also know that till the time i don't accept myself i won't be able to improve but knowing and doing has a big difference... i really want to know what you have to say on this!!!! i fear myself...i fear so much!i want to be free of this fear!! And i loved your articles..the best part is when you realise that it's not just you there are so many people going through the same!!! One thing that i accept is i do have the fears....even when something not very secretive is to be done i try to hide!!!even when i know about something i try to hide!!!because i feel that i do not meet the standards of what people are expecting from me!!This is true!!!and when i sometimes share this with my best friend , they tell me that no u are a really great person i feel as if they can't see the real me!!! Kyle i am looking forward for your reply on this

Never knew this was a thing till 20 minutes ago, and it's me. Almost feel like crying because it's a relief. I'm interviewing for a job soon that I know I could excel at, but have doubts others can see through my poor interviewing skills to offer me the job. Either way, win or lose, I will try, and will not regret giving it my very best shot.

Thank you! Truly the best article I've read. Your suggestions will help me in my artistic pursuits. I just opened a weaving studio where I teach weaving and spinning, I sound so confident explaining the process to people and yet that little voice is whispering they will find out.. So now I have tools to work with, thanks so much..great confidence booster All the best, Cheryl

Hey Kyle, I just read this article, very timely in my life. I just started a new job and am paralyzed with imposter syndrome. I am working through your 21 step program and it has reawakened my sense of humor, perspective and realism. While procrastination via internet is my go-to when paralysis hits, this was an excellent find, thank you very much!

I would like to apply as a part-time teacher in university, but I never felt like my credentials were good enough. I plan on applying on the next open job.

Good on you Natasha! I hope you come back and let us know when you do :)

Hey Kyle Really really glad that you decided to write this article. For the past year I have been coming to terms with my own imposter syndrome but have been dealing with it since I was a little kid. For me my time at school played a major role in the development of these thought patterns. From when I started primary school I was identified by teachers and my peers as a "high achiever" and someone who was "good at everything". So from a young age I felt identified and pigeonholed as someone who was different or 'abnormal'. This continued all through high school (which I finished last year). What I found was that these labels all of a sudden defined my self worth. I got good results because I worked hard at things I was interested in but all that effort was never acknowledged because apparently I was an 'excellence student' and that standard was just what was expected of me. This contributed greatly to me not being able to celebrate my achievements and believe that I actually worked hard. It became a matter of feeling as though I just "got lucky", "found a loophole" or wouldn't have been able to do it if it weren't for some help or support I had received. In addition I also felt as though I wasn't allowed to make mistakes or to not be good at something. It would shock people if I said I had failed a test. I felt trapped by how people had defined me and that if I showed any weakness or fault then they would think of me as a fraud. In a way I was stuck between a rock and a hard place because by pushing myself to maintain standards I also received comments of disbelief at my consistent results. So then it felt like the fact that I could maintain a high quality of work despite other commitments and health difficulties (I did end up not being at school for a fair portion of the last 3 years) was apparently so unvelievavle and I must therefore be cheating. This enforced the idea that no matter what I did I was a fraud. Thins have gotten better but I still find it incredibly difficult to ask for support and to believe that I am capable of achieving any goal I may have (no matter how big or small). I am currently pursuing a sporting carreer and as I work my way into the higher levels the need for sponsorship and financial support increases. Up till now I have not sought out sponsors because I have not felt as though I deserve their support. I am scared that any time my previous coaches have told me that I am performing and improving really well has been an exaggeration because they feel sorry for me, and that if I try to present myself to strangers (especially if to ask for financial help) they are just going to see that I'm nothing special and not worth their time. However ove the next couple of months I am determined to put myself out of my comfort zone and to start talking to people about what I'm doing and what my goals are, and then to hopefully get some people onboard! It can be so challenging to believe that you have something important to offer the world, and a whole new level to put yourself or there to tell people that you do. One of the things I've been working on is changing the belief that 'I cannot achieve the things I want to' on a small scale for daily activities. Reinforcing the idea that I can perform a task (particularly when I'm training), get it right, and then replicate that task a few times helps counteract the idea of being a fraud because a fraud will usually only get things right once. Your article has shone a lot of light on the nature or this pheneomenon and different ways to address it and I am extremely grateful for that! Its exciting to have new ideas for different methods to try out so that I can get on with living a life that I love. Thank you and I hope that more and more people who struggle with imposter syndrome read your insight, see that they aren't alone in feeling this way and that there's a way to move beyond it. Emma

Hi! My name is Alek Ivanov, I'm from Bulgaria and I feel like a fraud. I'm currently in high school and I've always been kind of the cool weirdo in the group. Weird because I am into business, pickup, nutrition, gym, meditation and other stuff like these. I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. Most of my mates are into smoking, drinking, video games, shit food, brainless activities in general. My impostor syndrome hits me right where I think hurts most. I've always tried helping people around me, showing them how they can live a better life and leave all the bullshit their consuming (physically and mentally). Problem is not many of them get my way of life and think it's weird and a lot of them say stuff like: " Just be cool broo, live your life bro etc.." I am really passionate about the subjects I listed but I constantly feel I am not "qualified" enough to talk about them like: Who am I to tell this guy he should consider going to the gym or reading about business or whatever. I kind of get it, I've always had a problem with implementation and that's one of the reasons i feel like an impostor and I also think that's why a lot of people don't take me as serious. This post went for longer than expected and I don't really know where i'm going with this anymore but there you have it. My little stream of thoughts at the moment haha. All replies are welcome. And remember you frauds! Express, do not repress. Good luck everyone :P

Hi! My name is Marc and i feel like i'm not as good as i could be. People have always told me I was pretty smart, and I know I am , maybe not as much as they think. But at some point I started to belive that I actually had the ability to be someone successfull and brilliant. I know am not thaat smart but my real problem is that I never do anything. I am interested in a lot of things but every time i start reading or writing something that I know it's gonna be good for me I just read 2-3 lines and tell myself "bah you know this already, you should, you are too good to lose time with this" and then I stop , and I actually never get that knowledge. So I stay staticly in my bublle thinking I am better than everyone when the people around me is doing things and improving. So then when the bubble pops I feel like I am so behind and late to the game. Thanks for the post it really helped :)

Nice article. I recently graduated from UCF with a degree in mechanical engineering. I never really felt like an engineer and I had decent but not very good grades. I thought that when I actually got the degree that I would feel better and proud of myself. But after receiving my degree I still feel like I don't know enough. I don't like talking about engineering topics because I feel like the other person will realize I don't know anything. I feel like I should know how to fix cars and stuff like that. This imposter syndrome is hurting me because I need to find a job and market myself but I constantly feel like I'm selling broken goods. Im avoiding applying to jobs or even looking for them because I don't believe that i can do them. I think I am too worried about failure. Im not sure if this helped me but I enjoyed the article. At least I'm not alone.

So now my 'pet' has a name! Don’t know if it makes it better or worse though. Anyway, thanks for the great post, Kyle! Knowing there are other people feeling like that is in itself helpfull But since there was a challenge at the end of the post, I’m up to it. Tbh I dared a lot in my life, but was seldom satisfied since… you know: “I was lucky”, “That wasn’t that good anyway”, ”It’s nothing special, even a kid could do it”, ”I was born smart, it’s my genes / moms achievement…” etc. Starting from early on I noticed that I have a weird mixture in my personality: being really confident of myself (in some respect even arrogant), but at the same time never being good enough for me, never acknowledging and always criticizing my own work. I can be really proud of others, but not of myself if I achieve the same or even more. I kept believing it was something like huge ego, not enough confidence (if that makes sense somehow) and fishing for complements, as I was told by some. But I doubted the latter since at times when I was criticizing my work I was genuinely sure it was mediocre at best. So the citation of Tina Fey sums it up quite well. Even when I got the best possible grade for my final exam at the university I managed to discuss the achievement to death because one of the referees said: ‘The oral exam was not as good as the written part, but since the written part was outstanding you get the max. points”. For me a clear sign that I did not earned what I got. When after that I got the PhD position I wanted, I felt like I totally faked it, my final grade overestimated my skills and I had no clue of anything compared to all the guys around (who have been studying the topic for 4-5 years, but that did not stopped me from feeling like I need to go back to school and learn before I can start working, which was still idiotic, since doing PhD means learning…). In my career the imposter syndrome (feels weird to write it) has not hindered me much, but I could be happier if I haven’t had it. And for the final part: there is actually something I do much less that I would like to: every time I start to draw something I end up telling myself, that I got no talent and should just leave it be. And so, sitting down and drawing something is always a challenge, mostly depressing than fun: even if I manage something good a persistent part of me keeps going: ‘It was the simplest perspective’, ’You still screwed up that little detail’, ‘Compared to X it still sucks’… And it gets even weirder if I try to persuade myself to be less ambitious: it feels like giving up on one self. So the other part of me tells: ‘You know you are good!’. And there comes the other: ‘Who knows… But the picture still sucks!’ (Good boy, imposter syndrome, get a treat!) So I’ll try to follow the suggestions and see if I can get any improvements.

Ah, the XTC of Bold.

Quite interesting post.

Thank you for writing this. I didn't even know it was 'a thing'. I've felt an imposter recently as I've changed they type of job I usually do. For example I was asked to write a letter, I panicked, I thought I don't know how to write a letter. Reality is that I know how to write a letter. I felt that I was going to be asked to leave because I don't know how to write a letter. Reality is that my boss has thanked me for taking a lot of his work from him. My imposter syndrome, I believe, stems from once an HR head ridiculed me because I didn't know how to make an Excel pivot table. I was an area manager in charge of stores and people at that time. The fear of looking stupid makes me think I'll get found out that I don't know how to do something. So, thanks for your write up on the subject.

I never dreamed that this was a real thing! I have just started a PhD and everyone around me seems to have their $#*& together, even other newbies and I have no idea what I'm doing. It hadn't occurred to me that other people would feel like this too. I wonder what we all look like from the other side... Like do people look at us and think we judge them for "not being good enough". Food for thought

I had a form of impostor syndrome with a girl I really liked earlier this year. She is ridiculously beautiful, intelligent, funny and emotionally warm. After a few weeks of knowing her, it was clear to me - at least on an intellectual level - that she liked me. She would grab me by the hand, make regular body and eye contact, and spend hours on end with me, enjoying my presence. We also had a strong emotional connection built on similar values and mutual trust. I knew that if I leaned in to kiss her or asked her out on a date things would probably work out well. However, I coulnn't bring myself to do either. Obviously fear played a big part in this, but I think the main cause of my inaction was the fact that deep down I didn't believe she liked me. It is one thing to know a girl likes you, but a different thing to believe it. After months of flirting but little action on my part, I think she grew impatient. She has a boyfriend now. I feel like a bit of an idiot, but I know that there are plenty of other amazing girls out there. I have also committed myself to learning more about how to overcome impostor syndrome, which is what bought me to this page. I actually first heard about it from Dr Geoff Miller on the Mating Grounds podcast, which I highly recommend for all young men. Dr Miller explains that impostor syndrome often follows rapid growth. My general value as a potential date has certainly skyrocketed over the last two or three years. I am in good shape. I am part of an amazing friend group. I am confident and have worked hard on my social skills. I think it is just taking a while for my believes about who I am to "catch up" to the reality of who I am. I need to internalize the idea that I have grown astoundingly in all areas of my life and am therefore worthy of dating incredible women. This will probably just take time, awareness and reflection. Thanks for the insightful post! And good luck to all readers in realizing that you ARE worthy.

Oh, the greatest irony. My biggest fraud is being a fraud. I realized that I wanted to do theater and acting ever since I started pursuing my business degree. I am still battling through it. Since I was a kid, I have always felt as if I was meant to be one. But, growing up from a middle class family, its a large risk and never a wise decision. Hopefully, I could do something about it. Your post has made me think about it and really see myself in a different perspective. I guess I am so good at being an impostor that I cling on it too much. LOL. Thanks.

My confession about the thing I am afraid to do because I'm not good enough... I was once tapped to lead a company after my boss (and friend) was let go. My new boss, who had eliminated my friend and put me in his place, told me I needed to make changes to the organization or else, adding: "You saw what happened to the other guy." A friend challenged me to write a book using this as a title. I've thought it would be a great idea to discuss layoffs, survivors, and the disruption and turmoil they cause, I've outlined it several times over the years, but I'VE NEVER DONE IT BECAUSE I'M AFRAID IT WON'T BE GOOD ENOUGH...

Soooo glad I found this! Feel like I've totally lost myself recently. I talk myself out of things all the time because I feel like I am useless at pretty much everything. I used to be a swimmer when I was younger, I did my qualification to teach swimming when I was in my early 20's but I only taught at my local pool for around 6 months and I didn't feel that I was very good. Anyway, I left and got another job for a few years but then had children and decided to go back to teaching as it would fit around my family better. Because 1. I used to swim and 2. I've got experience as a teacher, I now feel massively under pressure to be this amazing swimming teacher but the truth is I feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing. It's also difficult because I've taken the classes over from an experienced teacher and I've convinced myself they hate me! Some of them have actually left which just proves my point really. i think because I feel so crap about myself, I'm probably giving off a really negative vibe which isn't helping the situation! I just need to get my sh&t together, practise a little more, ask for more guidance, be more possitive and realise that it's not rocket science.... I just need to believe in myself a little more.

Thank you for this! I've written and self-published three novels. All of them have been well received. But when I stand before a group to give a reading or try to book a signing I feel sure that I'm going to be "exposed". That feeling holds me back from doing the one thing I love. Now I don't feel quite so alone. Thank you again.

I stop myself from making friends because I feel like know one wants to know me. I stop myself from putting out art work because I feel like no one wants to see it.

Oh gosh. I have discovered this term "impostor syndrome" only today, and it explains those daemons that have paralyzed me for years. What I avoided in my life? Two year ago I was offered a job in the US, with H1B visa and stuff, 93K/y. I went through five remote testing/assignments/chat conferences phases only to decline the offer at the end. The fear was paralyzing, I was shaking and crying. I couldn't do it. Three weeks ago another recruitment agency contacted me about applying for a position at that very same institution, and I am still debating whether to jump in, not being able to break the deadlock. But this time I know what is the name of the beast I have to fight, and I know that it's not just me who is going through this but that I am one of many. I was googling "impostor syndrome therapy" and this brought me here.

i discovered a talent(?) that i have when i was 47 years old. i create sharp focus, detailed portraits of peoples' hands that give insight to their personalities or a particular emotions. i'm good at it, too. i found myself in the midst of a world of other artists, shows, commissions, newspaper articles, etc.. i even have 5 paintings that are part of a permanent collection hanging at the Pentagon. all of this happened over the course of 5 years. with all that notoriety came the deep sense that i didn't earn it. wasn't worthy of it. that i was a fraud... as my involvement in the art world grew, so did my friendships (solid ones) with many amazingly talented artists. REAL artists. artists that created works of art that interpreted what they saw *artistically. from the start i separated myself from the other artists because what i created was more photo-realistic and less creative. i still consider myself less of an artist because i believed my art was fraudulent. i continue to separate myself and hold back and away from everyone because compared to the 'real' artists, i feel like i'll be outed and unworthy of any praise. WTF. i'm just thinking out loud here because your article has given me a platform. after reading it and the comments that followed, i feel like maybe i do fit in with a group of folks. talented folks. so thanks for that...........

I have just finished a four week cycle of weekend art shows. Having people constantly walking by my booth and silently......or not so silently judging my work sure does chip away at my confidence as an artist. I, myself, can be highly critical of my work which doesn't help. I don't have a degree in Fine Arts which, at times, can make me feel like a big ol' imposter especially when I'm around those that do.

Hi Lucy, I'm currently visiting my mom and she saw your site on my computer... she's spent the last five minutes admiring your work. So there's one person who loves it :)

I loved your article! I am a freshman in college wanting to join Student Government. It's really competitive to be part of the Senate and I feel as if you have to have a certain personality to be successful! I feel like I am being an imposter when I see other succesful, confident students and hear that I have to "sell myself" through networking. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself and remind myself that I'm trying with good intentions and that I'm still learning! Thank you for your article!

Please tell your Mom that she is my new best friend :).

I've always felt like a fraud. In high-school I was a track star and finished top 3 in the state and never felt proud of it. I figured I should've done better and got first. When others compliment me I can't quite accept it. I earned a scholarship to a big ten school to compete and did decently, but I held myself back by limiting myself l. Believing I didn't have the capacity to get better , and it became a self fullfilled prophecy. I also picked a general major I had no interest in because I didn't believe I had what it took to do something that took effort or hard work. After I graduated I never applied to any jobs that required a bachelor's or higher because I didn't want to pass an interview only for them to hire me and find out I wasn't who I "pretended" to be in the interview. So I stayed in jobs that I was over qualified for, letting fear stop me from reaching for anything challenging or higher. I am very artistic and now started photography as a hobby, I enjoy it and I believe I have great potential but it's hard for me to really enjoy it without criticizing the hell out of my work. Others are bewildered as to why I haven't really tried selling my work or seeking clients. The few times that I have done that, I battled intense anxiety and self doubt and crippling self criticism, almost feeling sick for accepting the money for the job I did, even when the clients were pleased with the result. So now I'm stuck in a place where i have intense ideas, passions and desires to start businesses, help and inspire others, but I'm also being crushed by this feeling of inadequacy and fear of others exposing me for trying to be something I'm not. It's a horrible feeling that sinks into my gut and leaves me stagnant. So yes this syndrome is keeping me from taking the risks I deeply yearn to take, and keeping me in a trap between passion and urgency and fear and torture. It sucks. Thanks for your vulnerability it's helping others. Feels good to vent.

I don't even know if what I've experienced is considered a form of this syndrome. I feel like I'm acting ALL THE TIME. Even right now. I feel like I only do things to show off. I read books on the bus and although I enjoy the book, I mostly enjoy the way people look at me. I enjoy pretending that I'm different. It's not even about people, even when I'm completely alone I feel like I'm acting. I'm a fake, I believe that. It's not about starting a business or taking an action. What action can I take? I wish I wasn't so good at acting. I'm so good at it that people never know. There have been people who have noticed, but I intuitively stay away from them. I can't tell what's real and what's not anymore. It seems like everything I do, I do it for attention. I'm a loud person but I never express my real opinions: I just act. I get carried away easily and then I regret it. I think, maybe I gotta become the person I want to become. Quitting social media, being less loud, more self-disclosure, less fun-making. Yes, I need to stop talking my mind. I need to choose my words with care. I need to say only what I mean. I should stop trying to sound smart, witty and sarcastic. I think I feel better now. Even though I'm still acting, at least I will try. And I'm gonna leave this comment here so that I'll never forget what I need to do. I'll need to stop acting as if I'm weird or awkward. I need to simply let go and be me. Oh God I'm so confused. It doesn't make sense. Do I need to take more control or to let go? I wish I knew what to do. I know that the ultimate answer lies in Him. I believe in God. I believe in God. That's the thing I rarely tell people but I have total faith in God. You know, I've heard this "you're too smart for that" response and it HURTS. I don't know what I'm writing anymore. I think I will start being more self-conscious and I will not try to catch other people's attention or to sound smarter than them. I will be real. Maybe even I can become real. Who knows.

Hello, I never though in my LIFE that what I had is something I had (like a disorder) I always though that I am a lazy bum that wants what he does not deserve. But after years of loathing myself I realized that loathing myself is another way of being lazy but with the extra part that is the heart ache. I know that I should do better, I should do more effort, I should stop relying on my whit to manipulate around doing actual hard work, I should say to myself that I did not do my best at a certain task, simply get off my a$$ and work. But meanwhile (and that is ONLY after reading this post) it is impossible to get all this credit without doing anything worth the credit, mainly just be honest to myself and stop being a 35 year old spoiled SELFISH baby. Please let me know what you think, I will never forget this favor.

This is wonderful!! So hilarious but absolutely spot on. I experience Impostor Syndrome on a daily basis. Thanks for exposing it for what it is. I am a writer and every time I post a blog or think about publishing something I have this awful sense that people--like my big sister who thinks she knows all about me--are going to rat on me. You are not who you say you are, you impostor! I am also a TESOL professional living and working in Mexico at the moment. Last week I was invited to give some presentations at a school. When I arrived, they had everything ready for my presentation. I walked up to the platform and I thought, OMG, I have no idea what they want me to tell them. It got worse when they announced, "Welcome, Doctor Foss Constance." I am not a Ph.D, and I never told them I was. Somebody had given them the wrong information. I was mortified. I had to live up to my PhD status. Talk about being an Impostor! But I chilled out and just told them what I knew, useful information that would help them. It worked. I was authentic. Thanks so much for coming out and saying it for us!

well to start with i am applying for grad school, i am not sure of the interest i pursue is really my interest, I like the subject and i also claim that I like it but sometimes this feeling creeps in do i really like it, grad school is a huge expense.. i feel stuck

I was hold back from publishing new content to my new website after realizing that all of the topics were already covered by the big guys in the game! But for sure this article has shown the other side of the story. Thanks a lot for this wonderful treat, it really helps!

I am a startup founder that has been trying to get my startup off the ground for 2 years. Now that is finally happening I feel that I am not good enough to get it done. I have been avoiding sales and I am self unconscious because I didnt finish college (because I had horrible grades) but I have won several competitions and have gotten to travel the world through the startup I created.

I shy away from speaking to seniors in my office because I feel I am not that smart to strike a conversation about interesting things. Also in many cases I feel very inadequate about myself professionally because I feel I don't know my field well. Keep holding others as benchmarks. I am so afraid of making mistakes. Paranoid to do everything with is atleast considered right by general standards.

I am a PhD psychologist with nearly 20 years experience but I still feel like a beginner. For me the worst is comparing myself to others. For example, I get down on myself after reading Carolyn Hax's advice column (Washington Post) because I could never come up with the answers she gives to her readers and I feel like I "should" be able to. Same if I go to a conference, same if I hear other psychologists talking about their cases and conceptualizing them in a way that I had not considered. Feeling like a fraud has made me overprepare for my appointments and has made me withhold comments in the presence of those I feel are smarter than me. Thanks for your tips, I hope to try some.

This is awesome - I needed to read this. I have been wanting to start my own blog for the time and share my 'expertise' but worried "I'll be found out". I didn't even know the imposter syndrome existed - I thought it was just me! Thank you so much for writing this, I feel I can move forward now and pursue my dreams!

I think the whole stop thinking you're so special thing struck home withe me. I have been afraid to talk to people and often go off alone. I'miss starting to think it was due to that. I just feel that I had to do something cool andown get out. Really it kind of sucked because while everyone was having fun I'don't be afraid talk because I felt someone was going to call me out and say that I'must not as cool as I was. I was afraid to talk about things I enjoy like anime politics or runnnin.because I felt I didn't know enough. I was also afraid to wear shirts with bands or TV shows, because I felt someone would question me and I would know nothing. I have also refrained from leaving comments like on youtube because I'miss afraid that it won't be as good as others, or someone will read it and be like this is dumb, or really because I just feel like there is something g gear expected from my comment. I read this post because I felt like I didn't know what I was doing at work. However, now I'mean ready to take on this disorder. Thanks!

Hey! Thanks a lot for your article! I just turned 26, I have a degree in Economics and an MA in Politics but I always loved the environment and chose environmental directions in my degrees. However in the last years I ve volunteered a lot for wildlife centers etc and now I was offered the amazing opportunity to volunteer for a wildlife trust in my favorite country, Scotland. I love the work involved and the places I see, as well as the country and its people. I know that knowledge-wise I am not in a too bad position compared to the other volunteers because I ve read a lot on my own and volunteered even more. The impostor syndrome for me kreeps in because everyone else in the organisation has environmental/biology training and I m the only one with the odd degree. I feel like I don't deserve to be here and that it is mere luck, that it is a mistake. Like the only way to feel good is if I had a similar degree which I might not get for several years to come. I still don't know though if it impostor syndrome or I am plainly an impostor without a degree. And it will get worse when I ll have to find a job in the environmental field :/