42 Comments (page 1)

#AWESOME post. For the record, I was having a bad hair day in that pic ;-) Thanks for the props! Stay #AWESOME Bros!

Thanks Ted! I think you looked #AWESOME hahaha

As an ex-businesscardslinger, this article really hit home for me. I have always felt that I do a good job making friends, but as I read this, I realized how many more I have let slip through the cracks. I've always been a big fan of car ride phone calls, that's how I keep up with many of my friends from school. But I really learned a bunch from this man, thanks so much for putting it out into the universe for us all to take in!

Thanks for saying something, Chris! Hope to see you around

This, this is fantastic. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Several of the things you've noted are things I've discovered over the course of the last month and a half (after getting my shit together, losing 25lbs and counting, and moving out of my mom's house, even if all my shit STILL isn't out of her house...) I'm trying to get my solo music career going, because I realized that my dreams of doing any and everything in the music business- and becoming a renaissance man-lady in general- shouldn't be put on hold just because I'm in a band now. I want to start painting again, and writing, and songwriting more; I want to learn to legitimately stunt drive instead of pretending- and now I jog sometimes when I get bored of walking. I want all the success in the world for my band, it's members, and myself, SO, in the meantime, if there are no assignments for the band for me to do, then I need to quit sitting around anxiously awaiting the next step (waiting to be allowed to make an event page for a gig, or post a song, wah wah wah)- instead I'm going to continue to put MYSELF out there and make those connections so that I can FLY FLY FLY. ~speaking of flying- side note- on Monday I was supposed to make music in the studio with one of my friends/connections- we flew kites instead. SERIOUSLY? seriously. By the way, we are not far from each other! I hail from Naples, Fl, and my band actually has a gig on May 10th at Copperhead's Tap House in Safety Harbor. That's 20 miles or so from you. I promise if you come out we'll show you a good time, and I'll serenade you with Beyonce's "1+1"- yes, my folk/rock/progressive bluegrass band plays Beyonce- one of the guys in my band sings "Single Ladies" as well. It's a hoot. Check us out, I think you'll dig it, we've got several live recordings and videos, I'm the ginger gal, the only gal- well, that's debatable- www.facebook.com/mygirlmywhiskeyandme AND ME! ON MY OWN!- new releases coming soon- www.facebook.com/katyschirardmusic ^that's spamming isn't it... or... networking?? -I JUST WANNA MAKE A FRIEND- and sing to said friend, sweet sweet melodies. Thank you for your time and consideration, and for writing such an interesting, informative, and FUN post. Imma have to check out some more of your musings, when time allows. Right now I gotta put the finishing touches on this home-made, finger-lickin-good demo I've been working on these past couple of days. :D - AND I WANT TO DO WHAT YOU DO- Best~Katy

Katy! EVERYTHING IN THERE IS AWESOME! Can't wait to see you play! Let us know the details when the event gets closer! Not spamming at all, looking forward to hear you jam-a-dam!

Another awesome piece of writing by the awesome Kyle - keep'in it real for the rest of us. Your buddy John has an great voice and individual style -- just wasn't sing'in "Here Comes the Sun" but "Come Together". I know you know your Beatles!

Right now!

Great advice Kyle! (even if the occasional language makes me cringe a bit) :) The idea of random acts of connection is genius and something I need to start NOW. The section on giving instead of taking is also brilliant advice. I've spent the first part of this year focusing on that very thing. BTW, related to that thought, the idea I had recently (which has fallen by the wayside for a few weeks) is here - beasower.com. I give you this link for two reasons: 1. I know you'll hound me about keeping on it, which I need, and 2. If you know anyone who wants to help in ANY way, let me know. Thanks for the LinkedIn connection too. Keep up the excellent work guys. -wallyp

Thanks Wally! As the first act of hounding - what're you're plans for Be A Sower?

Great post, Kyle! I love your blog and keep coming back for more. Just a comment-- You included a picture of a woman wearing a bikini from behind with the words, "And you’re welcome." That's not a very good way to network with your entire audience. As a gay male, I wasn't impressed. Most females probably wouldn't be, either. Why not a picture of a cute puppy or something that appeals to everyone? I understand that the majority of entrepreneurs are straight males, but you don't want to alienate potential contacts and business partners right from the start. I know from personal experience that women do look at these kinds of things when deciding whether or not to work with someone or take a job. It's not much different than posting about politics in the way it can turn people off.

Hey Daniel! Thanks for coming. I'm grateful to have people like you in the community and participating! You bring up a really fascinating point - should I try to connect with everybody? It's scary to me when people like you tell me that what I'm writing is wrong in some way. I got a bunch of emails from this post telling me to stop cursing so much. One long-time community member sent me a quote from George Washington basically telling me that dumb people curse. Then you tell me I'm alienating all gay men and straight women. But here's the thing: it's worse to alienate people by holding yourself back than it is by being your full self. This article also brought me a lot of strong personal responses because I said weird things in weird ways. I said dirty things and used dirty words to do it. That's an example of putting my neck out, something I talk about in the article. I don't purposefully alienate gay men and women. I love both groups of people. I'm currently working with gay men and women on various projects. Both groups have some appreciation for the beauty of the female body (as well as the male). I doubt the girl in the picture would be upset that people are being exposed to the photo. I'm a little bummed that you've been turned off by pieces of this post. I have to tell you that I can't stop just because some people don't like it. If I did that I wouldn't do anything at all. I wouldn't say anything about any of my ideas. I wouldn't try anything. Daniel, if I tried to connect with everybody then I wouldn't connect with anybody. I'd also spend even more time feeling lonely in this world. So I can't stop saying things that will bother some people. I hope you don't hold back in your expression either. I also hope you don't stop challenging me on this blog!

So I wrote this epically long, poetic response to this, because I was very interested in how you'd respond to that post. AND THERE WAS SOME SYNTAX ERROR, AND ALL WAS LOST. FUCK SHIT STACK balls... It kind of hurts my soul, for it was an eloquent post. Seriously though, if I was 15 years old again I'd be crying for an hour. It was GENIUS. I'm sincerely upset, only because people would have read my post, and the light bulb may have gone off (and if/when it obviously didn't, I would will it too, damn it.) So, in place of the eloquent post, I will quickly jot down what I would HOPE people's reaction would have been- "Oh shit, that makes so much sense- many people ARE alienating themselves by insisting on being offended by everything, and everyone has the potential to be offended by any which one little thing on the surface of this planet... and we ARE all part of the same group, in the end- the world community- and especially in this day and age we really ARE all connected by some degree or fashion, not just history and lineage anymore. And if we keep on isolating ourselves and putting ourselves in little boxes, we WILL spiral back into nothingness. Also, Kyle IS the only one being truly alienated, though he may have inadvertently alienated someone, some thing- lonely soul, or despaired poet- or some group, even several, that in the end may have actually alienated themselves initially by diverging from the greater world community. And yeah, people DID pay way too much attention to the minute details and phraseology, as opposed to the heart of the message- the goal was not to harm, but to charm?!- boy, that gal hit the nail on the head! And though yes, indeed, it wasn't everyone's cup of tea, and it's their constitutional right to express that, in the end- again- why in the hell are we all so offended all the time...? And gee, I remember now that I forgot to go out and make that friend, or shower, because I was busy being offended- or actually, in this case, forgot to eat because I'm contemplating the fragile disposition of many people in the world today... squirrel. " Somethin like that... I feel like a high schooler writing a summary... where we just move the paragraphs and ideas of a story around to make it look like we read it thoroughly and understood... Anywhos, here's the main message I wanted to get across- "Some, [...], consider self-estrangement to be the end result and thus the heart of social alienation." MAKE IT A GOOD DAY YALL. We put ourselves in the positions we are in. The only thing we have control over is ourselves, as well as our own state of mind, and when we realize that, the pressure is off. (copyin and freakin pastin, in the event that there is a failure again... son of a-)

DANG!! I had to read that four times to get it. I want to see the original post! You reminded me of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ "Some, ..., consider self-estrangement to be the end result and thus the heart of social alienation." - That's beautiful! Who are the quotes for? It's a tough balancing act - feedback is useful and I don't want to have my message buried by trying to appeal to everyone. At the same time, you don't want to edit away expression into a bad technical guide. So I always err on the side of saying things as I feel them. Maybe in a decade I look back on my writing and say, "Ah, childish cursing" maybe I look back and say, "I shouldn't have held back so much." The latter is the one that would kill me, I can deal with being childish, not wishing I would have said what I meant.

Hey Katy, Damn, that really sucks. Thanks for letting us know about it though, I have somebody on it trying to fix it now. In fact, I copy and pasted your SHIT STACK to him haha Sorry to hear it jacked up your epic, but I bet it's even better the second time around :-D I'll let Kyle respond to the rest of your comment, but I completely agree with your thoughts there! Wish I could have seen the full version, but at least I can make sure our comments are working for the next one... Sorry again, Will

Thanks for the responses Kyle, Katy and Will. Kyle-- I appreciate your dedication and goodwill. There is certainly something to be said for being yourself and expressing your identity. We can't necessarily be 100% politically correct all the time, either. I don't expect you to change your writing or way of doing things at all. I just wanted to point out that your caption may not be as funny to some people as it is others, which is ok. Humor is rarely universal. Katy-- I think you misunderstood the nature of my comment. I was not in any way offended by Kyle. I was just pointing out another interpretation of his caption. It's important to understand diversity when networking, so I thought my comment would be insightful to everyone. It's really no different than pointing out that not everyone likes ice cream or some people are left-handed. I am concerned that you think pointing out a difference in society is going overboard.

No worries at all Will! Very well may have been an error on my end, who really knows. And it was my fault for not doing the copy/paste ritual to prepare for possible error (I usually do it, but I didn't that time cause I was being an ass, and I second-guessed it as I hit "post comment" and THAT'S WHAT I FREAKIN GET) All of the essentials made it in the second post, I got my message across, and in layman's terms to boot, compared to how my original post was worded... verrrry wordy. This is how it was meant to be, everything happened for a reason. I was able to recall the basics of everything I had noted in the first comment, but as a reader summarizing, rather than by memory as the speaker/writer, it's wacky borderline idiot-savant type crap, I've decided (that's my possibly less offensive way of saying- asperger's type stuff). For I read what I'm writing like a millllion times over and over as I write, because I have issues (always more to freakin say; double checking that, though i am all over the place, my message is still clear...) AND HELL, I WRITE TOO MUCH- IT WAS A LESSON. Thanks for reading the half-assed version of my epic, and appreciating it. :D Kyle- DUDE, PEOPLE KEEP COMPARING ME TO JACK BLACK, I DON'T GET IT www.reverbnation.com/gingerfreeze -Ok I guess I do, you'll hear it, especially if you picture a cabage patch-chubbkins- ginger gal writing and performing this stuff. If you feel inclined to take a bored moment to check out a side project not many very people know about, that link there'll git ya... in person too, though- besides being a chubby 30-somethin year old man, when I perform my rap/comedy/novelty music, I am just as, if not more, enthused as when I perform "seriously". I take not-being-serious so very seriously. Also, I agree- it's sometimes a lesson hard learned for some people, looking back in retrospect and realizing that the "if and buts-candy and nutsacks" bit is a real hoedown. What will hurt more- bustin bubbles and hurting other people's fragile egos, or your own SOUL? Seriously, if you ain't singing your heart song, you're singing what you THINK is someone else's. and you ain't never gon git it right. and that dont help no one. All you got in the end is yoself- laying down at night? BY YOSELF, no on else is inside you... unless you're into that............. ~turning into a gangster hick as we spizeak-malfunction- error-error~ beeteedubs- quotes are for wiki-freakin-pedia brah, no joke. They referenced it from something else fo sho... But look it up- Social Alienation. It's a fantastic article... I didn't read the whole thing. yet. but I might! *' [...] was "with Marx". '*

Daniel- You're absolutely right brother, yours is actually an awesome comment, one with a noble, comprehensible point to make. I can definitely see where you're coming from. Though I think that defending the people who MIGHT get offended is interesting- I know that the actual people who really WERE offended took control and sent him emails getting on his tail. That's, I guess, why I was interested to see what Kyle would respond to your comment with. I imagined he'd had enough real people actually getting offended, not just "groups" that we've made up. With that said, I think in fact you misunderstood my reply, which was to what Kyle responded with, not to your comment. Part of that might be because of how confusing and all over the place it was, I do apologize for that-I swear my initial post was much easier to comprehend. In my comment I am not addressing anyone in particular, except Kyle at certain points. If anything I'm addressing the people who would/could be, and even WERE, offended by his post, (the people you were referring to in your comment, matter of fact) those that would be offended by an apparent (in your opinion) faux pas on Kyle's part. And though my post was not a reply to yours, you even stated you weren't impressed- and that's completely understandable. I too could have gone, and probably did, for a moment, go-"dang, too bad I don't look like that, hmmph- but HAHAHAHAA DUDE 'and you're welcome?!!' too funny, bro, too too funny!". I can appreciate the humor- I didn't even think about anything but "haha, what a funny lil' buffer between ideas for this super long post. I understand it may take a special kind of appreciation for that kind of general humor, or maybe... an open mind that isn't quick to get offended too easily... But here, if we want to look at groups, statistics, and specs- I'm an overweight, hourglass shaped, 5 foot tall ginger hobbit, lady- not a woman, sparkling blue eyes, sensitive nature, straight as I know straight to be, single and available call me- and ~I~ could appreciate the image and caption. It was great. I can appreciate not only the humor, but the beauty of the female body, the ocean she is loping towards, the fact that I have eyes to see it, and color-vision... the list goes on... I looked past the surface I guess? Went into the entire article without judgement?-I'm not sure- I was only concerned with reading an informative article. If I was going to be turned off by little "possibly offensive things", then I'd have closed it and never gained those seeds of wisdom and knowledge. I didn't let the curse words distract me- rather, it didn't dawn on me for them to. And I'm a young lady- I'm supposed to be sensitive to that shit. Bahaha! BOXES BRO BOXES No need to be concerned for me- and I am not concerned for anybody... maybe slightly for the people who are worrying so much about being offended, instead of just being observers and participants of the motion of life in it's entirety. And only because I know how draining it can be. If it's anywhere near as draining as hearing about how offended everyone is all the time. So, alas, in closing, no hard feelings are ever part of my agenda. Just a human like the rest of yas. Just an observer, a journeyman, and lover of life. I'm working on my patience, still, but I've long been a student of compassion and understanding. Kyle wasn't trying to offend no-body, he's just a got a blog on the interwebs where he can express himself. If it MIGHT offend someone, they gotta toughen up and just take from it the lesson they want to learn. Otherwise, why are they reading it... :D

you are a novelist! hahaha "let's play pictionary!"

Daniel, I'm lucky if ANYONE finds my jokes funny. I have definitely taken your comment to heart and appreciate you putting it out there.

I AM A BEAST A PICTIONARY. I was going to go to art school if I didn't make it into music school. :D and scrabble, I dominate those around me. LET'S DO BOTH. Seriously, imma bring a scrabble board to my gig in Safety Harbor in May, if you come we will play during set breaks. Drunken scrabble? sounds delightful. but you're right... I should have a blog, or just write novellas, so I can get it out of my system and make my comments shorter on other people's shit...

Hahaha it does sound delightful. Let us know when the show gets closer!

You guys sound awesome! Want to be besties? :)

oh my gee MY name is Kyle too Besties indeed!

Two Kyles are better than one!

Kyle, now that we are besties, I have a question for you. It's a little off this topic though. If I were to buy something from china and resell it on amizon, how do i know if its legal or not? Meaning how do i know if i am counterfeiting something...?

If it has a Nike swoosh on it then it's probably illegal ;) I've got to defer you to the comments in Will's posts though. I'm pretty sure he's covered that. Scan through there and see if you can find anything (cntrl+f will help wading through the nearly 300 comments lol).

Will do! Thanks bestie! ;)

Godspeed!

I could hug you for writing that. "Networking" as it is always described to me really turns me OFF. What you describe really - erm - turns me on! It's how I want to be.

Thanks Michael! So glad you liked it. The more of us out there the better :)

THIS IS GREAT! Friendships are so important. GOOD friendships are hard to find, but we have some pointers on our blog and you can check it out here www.weartostandout.com/blog/how-to-be-a-hepburn-in-a-hilton-world-chapter-four and tell us what you think! xoxo, WearToStandOut

I can get behind a small, selected inner circle. Nice!!

thanks Kyle as a PR practitioner and mother i have to say this article is wise and thoughtful and incredibly helpful . i enjoyed it so much that i have sent it to both my university aged children and i am making my How are you phone list . Really you have provided an effective antidote to Networkingitis thank you and be well. Best Susie

Thanks a Tom, Susie! I hope your kids find it as useful as you did! (They'd probably like my book, too ;) )

That was pretty cool post and I really learnt a lot. Your's is a much more fulfilling and natural strategy for meeting people. However, I also disagree with the image of the woman, I would have been much more humerous to put a GIF of Miley Cyrus twerking :D

That was a really cool post! I learnt a lot. However, I don't really appreciate the woman's backside image......It would be much more humorous to see an gif of Miley Cyrus twerking :D

Wow. This is a leviathan of a post, but it's brilliant! Thanks for writing this Kyle.

Thanks for reading :)

I have enjoyed reading your very well written blog posts. I'll be a frequent visitor, that's for sure.

Amazing work Kyle! This was an interesting find that I came across after a night of high expectations turned out the other way around...but on the bright side, i felt rewarded to read this because it opened up my eyes to how shallow I've become throughout the years, and this is because I had felt the absolute need to network as opposed to actually TRYING to make new friends. This was spot on, and I appreciate the advice that you have given because a life with people who care and enjoy your company essentially epitomizes happiness! I sincerely thank you!

I'm glad you found this, Alex! I'm curious - how did you get to this post? I hope you stick with it and stay patient... it is "harder" work to stay pure, but it pays off big time!